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What is libido? How does it change over time? And why do men and women seem to have different levels of sexual desire? These are some of the questions that many people wonder about, but often don’t find satisfying answers to. In this blog post, we will explore the science and psychology of libido, and reveal some surprising facts that most blogs don’t talk about.
## What is libido?
Libido, or sex drive, is the term used to describe the emotional and mental energy related to sex. It is influenced by many factors, such as hormones, brain chemistry, physical health, psychological well-being, social and cultural norms, and personal preferences. Libido is not a fixed or static trait that stays the same throughout life. It can vary from person to person, and from day to day, depending on the situation and the mood.
## How does libido change over time?
One of the common myths about libido is that it declines with age, especially for women. However, this is not necessarily true. Research has shown that libido can change in different ways for different people, depending on their life stage, circumstances, and relationship status. Here are some of the general trends that have been observed:
– For men, testosterone, a hormone that is linked to sexual arousal, is typically high in their 20s, and so is their sex drive. However, testosterone starts to slowly decrease around age 35, by about 1% per year⁴. This could have some effect on their libido, but it is not the only factor. Stress, anxiety, depression, medication, and health problems can also affect men’s sexual interest and performance⁴. Some men may experience erectile dysfunction (ED), which is the inability to get or keep an erection, as they get older. ED can be caused by physical or psychological issues, or a combination of both. It can also be a sign of heart disease or diabetes, so it is important to consult a doctor if it happens frequently⁴.
– For women, libido is more complex and less understood than for men. Women’s sexual desire is influenced by their menstrual cycle, pregnancy, childbirth, menopause, and other hormonal changes. Some women may experience a boost in libido at certain times, such as during the second trimester of pregnancy, or when they are ovulating. Other women may experience a drop in libido due to stress, fatigue, pain, or emotional issues¹. Women’s libido may also increase or decrease depending on their relationship satisfaction, intimacy, and communication with their partner¹. Some women may have a condition called hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD), which is a persistent or recurrent lack of interest in sex that causes distress or problems in their life. HSDD can be treated with therapy, medication, or lifestyle changes¹.
## Why do men and women seem to have different levels of sexual desire?
Another common myth about libido is that men have higher sex drives than women, and that they think about sex more often, masturbate more frequently, and are more open to casual sex. However, these stereotypes are not entirely accurate, and they may reflect more of the social and cultural expectations and pressures that men and women face, rather than their innate biology. Here are some of the facts that challenge these stereotypes:
– Men and women think about sex roughly the same amount of times per day, according to a recent study at Ohio State University. The study found that men reported thinking about sex 19 times per day on average, while women reported 10 times per day on average. However, the study also suggested that men thought about food and sleep more often than women, and that people who were more comfortable with their sexuality reported more frequent sexual thoughts².
– Men and women masturbate for similar reasons, such as pleasure, relaxation, stress relief, curiosity, or boredom. However, women may be less likely to admit or report their masturbation habits, due to social stigma, shame, or guilt. A study conducted in China found that 68.7% of men and 48.8% of women reported that they had masturbated, but the study also found that a significant number of adults had a negative attitude toward masturbation, especially women².
– Men and women are equally interested in casual sex, but women may be more selective and cautious about their partners, due to the higher risks and costs that they face, such as pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, violence, or social judgment. A study conducted in 2015 found that men were more likely than women to accept an invitation for casual sex from a stranger, but the gender difference disappeared when the participants were shown pictures of attractive suitors in a safe environment².
## Conclusion
Libido is a fascinating and complex aspect of human sexuality, that is influenced by many biological, psychological, social, and personal factors. It is not a simple or static phenomenon, but a dynamic and diverse one, that can change over time and vary from person to person. There is no one right or wrong way to experience or express your libido, as long as it is consensual, respectful, and enjoyable for you and your partner. The most important thing is to be honest, open, and curious about your own and your partner’s sexual needs and desires, and to seek help if you have any concerns or problems. Remember, sex is not only a physical act, but also an emotional and mental one, that can enhance your health, happiness, and well-being.
(1) Everything You Wanted to Know About the Male Sex Drive – Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/mens-health/sex-drive.
(2) How Sex Drive Changes in Your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and Beyond – WebMD. https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/ss/slideshow-sex-drive-changes-age.
(3) Sex Drive: How Do Men and Women Compare? – WebMD. https://www.webmd.com/sex/features/sex-drive-how-do-men-women-compare.
(4) How often do couples have sex? Statistics and affecting factors. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/how-often-do-couples-have-sex.
(5) High Libido: What It Means, Characteristics, Causes, and More – Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/high-libido.
(6) Common Causes of Low Libido and No Sex Drive in Men – Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/low-testosterone/conditions-that-cause-low-libido.
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